I’m going to push back on one part of this at least. Where you assume we are all still solo-ing info and news and we’re being too precious to have the reality of MAGA in any part of our sightlines. I think that was absolutely true for 2016 election. And may be true still for many who exist in the rarefied coastal worlds that you and I once inhabited. But so many people I know were never part of that world or have intentionally moved beyond it to parts of the country that grant or even force a better understanding of our fellow Americans’ grievances. I can tell you for certain that no one I know here in FL was as unaware as people were in 2016. And we’ve worked hard to figure out ways to try to move forward within that reality. Doesn’t mean we’re not still spitting mad; the popular vote gets me. And that Amendment 4 in FL, insuring women’s reproductive rights, got 57% of vote but not 60% threshold to pass. But I think you underestimate how many of us adjusted our vision post-2016 to include the ugly realities we wished we could ignore. Which is why I’ve spent the past 7 years deep in voting rights work, with a whole lot of other people who have been doing the same. Anyway, wanted to get that perspective out there.
you live in florida and are on the ground. you have adjusted. most of the people i know are in new york and in LA or in paris and are absolutely not connected in the same way and have not adjusted. people need to diversify who they are following on social media and dive the fuck in. also, frankly, we need to get evil and scrape data better. and also the democratic party on a national level needs to get that embodying emotion and identity is way more powerful than preaching. some democrats get that. not enough do.
*but further to that you are right, i shouldn't have said "you all," but rather "some of you," or something more qualified. i imagine who i'm speaking to in these pieces but in fact readers of this are from all over the place.
I also know quite a few people who moved to follow work or during COVID from NYC to what had been their weekend places and encountering entirely different political landscapes than what they’ve imagined. So I’d think, though don’t have evidence, that may have proven enlightening, for better or worse.
depends on the kind of work they do. they will surely have different neighbors than before which makes a huge difference. but it’s still too easy to create info environments that create major “ick no gross” exclusion of other ways of seeing the world. algorithms encourage this too.
Damn Alex you are such a good writer and so thoughtful. I deleted my Facebook this week that is jam packed with my high school Texans and loads of Trumpers. I have never unfollowed anyone because I was curious about what they have to say but this week needed a break. But I hear what you are saying about ignoring them aint it. Eventually I will log back in and listen after a little break.
thank you my dear! and there you go. i'm also really trying to stop OTHERING them too. listening more but also me not instinctively going, "ew, unenlightened troglodyte." i'm not saying anyone is rational anymore but we do have reasons. that the GOP is now becoming a more racially diverse party is something we all need to ask questions about. the way the ivy league dems manage and message to their diverse coalition is clearly not working for a shit ton of people.
knowing who you are and where you stand is everything. we have maga in our family and you wouldn't turn a single one of them away from your door if they needed help. our bubbles got popped. we need to be inside each other's heads in a much more curious way.
Thank you for talking me off that ledge. If Trump‘s ugliness gets to be too much for me and we know it ain’t gonna be pretty, I’ll try to take a trip for a month or two somewhere far, far away. I realize how fortunate I am that I can do that. But I have worked hard 50+ years of my life and I’d like to enjoy what’s left of it. I will do every single thing I can to fight for our democracy. I’m heartbroken.
Thank you for this. Just about everyone I know that worked on the Harris Walz campaign is looking for ways to escape the US, particularly my Black and Brown friends and other marginalized groups. What they're finding is it's virtually impossible to immigrate anywhere safe.
I have dual citizenship with the US/UK but I don't think it's gonna be any better over there in the long run than it is here, although I do plan to relocate to Scotland in the next six months, a plan that's been on my calendar for almost 2 years. The absolute fear people have for themselves and for their children, for their friends and for their extended family, is very real. Is there anywhere in the world that is safe from what Trump+Musk+Putin and Xi Jinping plan to do?
Forgot to mention, I have lived in red towns/states my entire life and have MAGA family members. I am exposed to their beliefs on the regular. Problem is, they are fact resistant. I can show them all the data in the world regarding the economy and they insist it's never been worse and only Trump can fix it. There comes a point where one must simply turn off the faucet of reality and leave people to their own devices - live and let live - although that's not something most MAGA are willing to grant others.
so many people are trying in good faith to understand how to break through to people who are just seemingly on another cognitive planet because if we want to live in a consensus-based form of govt we need consensual reality. we've known this is a problem for a minute and now we have evidence that what we've been trying so far, at least on a national level, isn't working. it's really interesting to see people grappling with that now even if most of the post-game analysis i'm reading so far feels like it's missing the point. "why do you vote against your own interests" may be a misunderstanding of what people feel their interests really are. each of us gets one vote. honestly i have no answers but i am trying to enter the space in a very different way than i was even just a week ago.
also, for me, there's being exposed to beliefs (which i personally wasn't enough even though i know what i think they are in a lot of cases) and being able to sit with where people outside my comfort zone might be rather than foreclosing and being a know it all so i can move on from the discomfort and pain of what just happened.
Yes, agreed. I try very hard to understand where my MAGA family members are coming from with these beliefs, but I am seeing them parrot talking points from sources like Newsmax, Fox News, and OAN, the vast majority of which are falsehoods manufactured to enrage the base. I am exhausted and disheartened. And so I will continue on with my plan to move to Scotland, to an unpopulated loch in a Highlands forest, and not leave my forwarding address; they can reach me by email if they really wanna talk to me, but I don't care to hear from them anymore, particularly when Trump's 20% tariffs crush them financially. I deserve peace and I'm tired of trying to carry these people to safety when they very loudly do not want it and feel it's a trick.
i hear you. i haven't spent much of any time amongst MAGA. even my very republican relatives aren't all MAGA. (we have some.) i come from a mormon family. maybe the muslim ban was a bridge too far for a religion that has very recent memories of persecution? my mother is an active mormon, she will have a better read on that than i do. i am more willing to argue with people i think are mostly on my team than with those "on the other side" because i am impatient and pedantic and very in my head and it usually just ends in massive anger. i am encouraged by little anecdotes i hear of people asking questions and holding space rather than trying to convince or change minds--even though politically we need real action and plans to combat where this is going. and it's the job of politics to change minds (among other things). but flies with honey, i guess. i don't know what to do globally about this. i'm just willing to consider a lot more options than i was until very recently, and i'm willing to come at this from a non-linear place now.
I have a lot of respect for anyone that tries to build a bridge between "them" and "us". I wish you all the patience and luck in the world, you will need it. I've been trying for nine years to build that bridge and they simply won't cross it, let alone meet me in the middle of it. Heck they won't even take one step onto the bridge. I think they might actually enjoy the racism, and they don't think misogyny applies to them - which it very, very much does; but again, I can't save them, so I'll leave them to their own devices to figure out life without me around to show them a different way of being. 🤷♀️
i am in no position to build bridges with MAGA other than in cyberspace and in my own psyche. i live in a village in france that has a few gilet jaunes but has no idea what MAGA even means and i am very distant from anyone in my family back home who might count as such. given all those limitations on my end, i am at least trying to inhabit a new psychic terrain, in a less linear and more curious fashion, and seeing what comes from expanding my awareness and relying way way way less on my priors. we're in a systems collapse now, but this is also an exciting time to evolve.
This phrase hits hard. It’s a powerful reminder that we can’t escape the responsibility of the systems we are part of—no matter how far we try to run. We each carry the weight of the issues that shape us, and owning that is the first step toward meaningful change. This entire piece will stay with me for a long time.
I’m going to push back on one part of this at least. Where you assume we are all still solo-ing info and news and we’re being too precious to have the reality of MAGA in any part of our sightlines. I think that was absolutely true for 2016 election. And may be true still for many who exist in the rarefied coastal worlds that you and I once inhabited. But so many people I know were never part of that world or have intentionally moved beyond it to parts of the country that grant or even force a better understanding of our fellow Americans’ grievances. I can tell you for certain that no one I know here in FL was as unaware as people were in 2016. And we’ve worked hard to figure out ways to try to move forward within that reality. Doesn’t mean we’re not still spitting mad; the popular vote gets me. And that Amendment 4 in FL, insuring women’s reproductive rights, got 57% of vote but not 60% threshold to pass. But I think you underestimate how many of us adjusted our vision post-2016 to include the ugly realities we wished we could ignore. Which is why I’ve spent the past 7 years deep in voting rights work, with a whole lot of other people who have been doing the same. Anyway, wanted to get that perspective out there.
you live in florida and are on the ground. you have adjusted. most of the people i know are in new york and in LA or in paris and are absolutely not connected in the same way and have not adjusted. people need to diversify who they are following on social media and dive the fuck in. also, frankly, we need to get evil and scrape data better. and also the democratic party on a national level needs to get that embodying emotion and identity is way more powerful than preaching. some democrats get that. not enough do.
*but further to that you are right, i shouldn't have said "you all," but rather "some of you," or something more qualified. i imagine who i'm speaking to in these pieces but in fact readers of this are from all over the place.
I also know quite a few people who moved to follow work or during COVID from NYC to what had been their weekend places and encountering entirely different political landscapes than what they’ve imagined. So I’d think, though don’t have evidence, that may have proven enlightening, for better or worse.
depends on the kind of work they do. they will surely have different neighbors than before which makes a huge difference. but it’s still too easy to create info environments that create major “ick no gross” exclusion of other ways of seeing the world. algorithms encourage this too.
Damn Alex you are such a good writer and so thoughtful. I deleted my Facebook this week that is jam packed with my high school Texans and loads of Trumpers. I have never unfollowed anyone because I was curious about what they have to say but this week needed a break. But I hear what you are saying about ignoring them aint it. Eventually I will log back in and listen after a little break.
thank you my dear! and there you go. i'm also really trying to stop OTHERING them too. listening more but also me not instinctively going, "ew, unenlightened troglodyte." i'm not saying anyone is rational anymore but we do have reasons. that the GOP is now becoming a more racially diverse party is something we all need to ask questions about. the way the ivy league dems manage and message to their diverse coalition is clearly not working for a shit ton of people.
Powerful! I am Canadian. We are very much affected and concerned. What happens in the USA affects the world.
This thoughtful,, introspective and ultimately wise post helps. Still bleeding, but off life-support.
knowing who you are and where you stand is everything. we have maga in our family and you wouldn't turn a single one of them away from your door if they needed help. our bubbles got popped. we need to be inside each other's heads in a much more curious way.
Thank you for talking me off that ledge. If Trump‘s ugliness gets to be too much for me and we know it ain’t gonna be pretty, I’ll try to take a trip for a month or two somewhere far, far away. I realize how fortunate I am that I can do that. But I have worked hard 50+ years of my life and I’d like to enjoy what’s left of it. I will do every single thing I can to fight for our democracy. I’m heartbroken.
Substack was my way of sticking my head in the sand and now that’s ruined too. Thanks a lot.
Brilliant and insightful—thank you.
thank you for the good word. if anyone in your world has been dreaming of escape, please share!
Thank you for this. Just about everyone I know that worked on the Harris Walz campaign is looking for ways to escape the US, particularly my Black and Brown friends and other marginalized groups. What they're finding is it's virtually impossible to immigrate anywhere safe.
I have dual citizenship with the US/UK but I don't think it's gonna be any better over there in the long run than it is here, although I do plan to relocate to Scotland in the next six months, a plan that's been on my calendar for almost 2 years. The absolute fear people have for themselves and for their children, for their friends and for their extended family, is very real. Is there anywhere in the world that is safe from what Trump+Musk+Putin and Xi Jinping plan to do?
Maybe Down Under might be safe...
Forgot to mention, I have lived in red towns/states my entire life and have MAGA family members. I am exposed to their beliefs on the regular. Problem is, they are fact resistant. I can show them all the data in the world regarding the economy and they insist it's never been worse and only Trump can fix it. There comes a point where one must simply turn off the faucet of reality and leave people to their own devices - live and let live - although that's not something most MAGA are willing to grant others.
so many people are trying in good faith to understand how to break through to people who are just seemingly on another cognitive planet because if we want to live in a consensus-based form of govt we need consensual reality. we've known this is a problem for a minute and now we have evidence that what we've been trying so far, at least on a national level, isn't working. it's really interesting to see people grappling with that now even if most of the post-game analysis i'm reading so far feels like it's missing the point. "why do you vote against your own interests" may be a misunderstanding of what people feel their interests really are. each of us gets one vote. honestly i have no answers but i am trying to enter the space in a very different way than i was even just a week ago.
also, for me, there's being exposed to beliefs (which i personally wasn't enough even though i know what i think they are in a lot of cases) and being able to sit with where people outside my comfort zone might be rather than foreclosing and being a know it all so i can move on from the discomfort and pain of what just happened.
Yes, agreed. I try very hard to understand where my MAGA family members are coming from with these beliefs, but I am seeing them parrot talking points from sources like Newsmax, Fox News, and OAN, the vast majority of which are falsehoods manufactured to enrage the base. I am exhausted and disheartened. And so I will continue on with my plan to move to Scotland, to an unpopulated loch in a Highlands forest, and not leave my forwarding address; they can reach me by email if they really wanna talk to me, but I don't care to hear from them anymore, particularly when Trump's 20% tariffs crush them financially. I deserve peace and I'm tired of trying to carry these people to safety when they very loudly do not want it and feel it's a trick.
i hear you. i haven't spent much of any time amongst MAGA. even my very republican relatives aren't all MAGA. (we have some.) i come from a mormon family. maybe the muslim ban was a bridge too far for a religion that has very recent memories of persecution? my mother is an active mormon, she will have a better read on that than i do. i am more willing to argue with people i think are mostly on my team than with those "on the other side" because i am impatient and pedantic and very in my head and it usually just ends in massive anger. i am encouraged by little anecdotes i hear of people asking questions and holding space rather than trying to convince or change minds--even though politically we need real action and plans to combat where this is going. and it's the job of politics to change minds (among other things). but flies with honey, i guess. i don't know what to do globally about this. i'm just willing to consider a lot more options than i was until very recently, and i'm willing to come at this from a non-linear place now.
I have a lot of respect for anyone that tries to build a bridge between "them" and "us". I wish you all the patience and luck in the world, you will need it. I've been trying for nine years to build that bridge and they simply won't cross it, let alone meet me in the middle of it. Heck they won't even take one step onto the bridge. I think they might actually enjoy the racism, and they don't think misogyny applies to them - which it very, very much does; but again, I can't save them, so I'll leave them to their own devices to figure out life without me around to show them a different way of being. 🤷♀️
i am in no position to build bridges with MAGA other than in cyberspace and in my own psyche. i live in a village in france that has a few gilet jaunes but has no idea what MAGA even means and i am very distant from anyone in my family back home who might count as such. given all those limitations on my end, i am at least trying to inhabit a new psychic terrain, in a less linear and more curious fashion, and seeing what comes from expanding my awareness and relying way way way less on my priors. we're in a systems collapse now, but this is also an exciting time to evolve.
Well said. Thanks for articulating this point so well x
Dang.
“I am American in my karma. I own this problem.”
This phrase hits hard. It’s a powerful reminder that we can’t escape the responsibility of the systems we are part of—no matter how far we try to run. We each carry the weight of the issues that shape us, and owning that is the first step toward meaningful change. This entire piece will stay with me for a long time.
no we cannot! and even if you do leave, you never really LEAVE. no american is ever absolved of the mess of america. or its brilliance.